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How to Protect Yourself

If you are involved in a family law matter involving child support, custody, or visitation, it is a very frustrating and emotional experience. However, you are not helpless. Below, I have outlined a few steps that I believe to be critical in each and every case.
Retain an attorney immediately! The single most important thing that you can do is retain an attorney as soon as possible. I cannot emphasize this enough. The first and biggest mistake that most people make is waiting too long to retain an attorney. The moment that you learn that you have a child support, custody, or visitation issue, you should retain an attorney. The longer you wait, the harder it becomes for your attorney to achieve a favorable result.
The second biggest mistake people make is shopping for an attorney like they would shop for bargains at the local discount store. Don't call 10 different attorneys and then go meet with the person that quoted you the cheapest retainer or who has the most colorful or largest ad in the yellow pages. Choosing an attorney simply because that person quoted you the cheapest fee can have serious consequences for you.
You should select an attorney based on their experience with cases similar to yours and their ability to handle your particular case. Normally, you will find that the more experienced attorneys do not quote bargain basement prices. They have learned over time what it takes to properly prepare and present a case and this experience is what you need. Someone with experience is more likely to also provide you with a realistic picture from the very beginning of what the ultimate costs of your case will involve. In the end, you will be much better served with someone that will handle your case correctly and do the best job possible rather than attempting to slide through the process with the minimum of expenses. Your future quality of life, your children’s welfare, and your ability to guide and mentor your children is at stake. Don’t pinch pennies - You may be sorry later.
Remain involved with your kids. Always remember the kids are the most important thing. Do not allow them to suffer. Make sure that they know that you love them. DO NOT involve them in the dispute with your spouse or discuss adult issues in their presence.
Make every effort to get along peacefully. This does not mean that you have to like or trust your spouse, it simply means that you should not let yourself be the one causing further problems. If you are able to keep things civil, chances are your case will be resolved more favorably.
Avoid all conflict and confrontations. Confrontations can be damaging to your case at this point. Without question, anything you do will be turned around on you. Moreover, you may even be accused of things that you have not done. Your spouse may lie, cheat, and some will even keep the kids away from you as hostages for money - anything necessary to make you appear as the bad guy.
DO NOT USE THE SAME ATTORNEY Do not fall for the old "Lets not fight, my lawyer will draw up the papers and we can just get this over with quickly." NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, let one attorney handle the case for both of you. Not only does this pose some serous ethical issues, to be honest, it is just plain stupid. Don't do it.
Keep meticulous records. Even after the divorce is final and you feel like you are getting back on your feet, watch your back! The divorce decree can be modified. Start a filing system. Make files for medical insurance, medical bills, day care, and child support. Keep a copy of each and every check you ever write. Ensure every check is clearly marked as "child support" on the memo line of your check. Have these records organized and available at all times.
Keep a visitation log. Get a ledger or notebook and document each and every visitation with your children. Document when the visitation occurred, what you did with the children, who was there, and any money spent. This can be used as evidence if there is ever a need.
Follow the court order to the letter. Do Not allow yourself to be the one in violation of an Order of the court. Pay all child support, etc. on time and keep meticulous records. Obey each and every provision of your court order. Even if your spouse refuses to obey provisions of the court order, most commonly the visitation provision, ensure that you continue to follow the court order. This is very important. If your spouse fails to obey the court order, consult an attorney immediately.
Exercise all visitation with your children. Ensure that you exercise your visitation rights. It is important for the kids to see you. You are their parent. You are an important part of their lives. If your spouse denies your visitation, consult your attorney immediately.
Think before you act. Everything you say and do will ultimately end up in court. Be smart.
Retain an attorney immediately! Once again I cannot emphasize this enough. Some people are afraid that they cannot afford to hire an attorney and will allow themselves to stumble through the process without representation. The simple truth is you cannot afford not to hire an attorney. Don't make this mistake.
Louden Law Firm 2300 McKown Drive, Norman, OK. 73072 (405) 366-7170
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Nothing Contained in this Web Site is to be considered Legal Advise
The Louden Law Firm practices exclusively in the State of Oklahoma. Nothing contained anywhere in this web site should be considered as an attempt to give a legal opinion on any matter. The information provided on these pages is not intended in any way whatsoever as legal advice nor is this information intended to create an attorney-client relationship. This is intended as general information only. Some legal information provided in links supplied in our pages may not be the latest updates. The Law changes frequently and you should always contact an attorney before taking any legal action. The areas of practice covered by our firm are very complicated. You should always consult an attorney before taking any type of legal action. You can contact an attorney at the Louden Law Firm for a free consultation concerning the law in Oklahoma. For information on the law of other states, you will need to contact an attorney in your local area. Pete D. Louden Attorney at Law. Copyright (c) 2007.